…musings of one easily amused

Archive for December, 2010

Thanks, but no thanks

No, I don’t want to participate in an online survey. I’m not interested in obtaining the smile I’ve never dreamed of. I don’t want an online degree nor do I want to be a member of a pretend “Who’s who”. I don’t want your Holiday Deal. I have all the ink toner I want. I don’t have a replacement hip so I’m not all that interested in the recall. I don’t want a VA home loan “working for me”. I like my fine lines, wrinkles and aging spots right where they are, thank you. I know I can’t buy an Ipad/Iphone/(insert your Icrap here) for $23.74. I also know that I can’t earn $50/hour “cruising the Internet” (although I have a few co-workers attempting to do just that). E-Cigarettes? No thanks.

The Wal-Mart/Best-Buy/(insert your BigBoxStore here) $50 gift card is bogus as are my lottery winnings, the billion bucks the sheik of a war-torn nation wants to give me and the Sun Bank password reset request. The Avandia settlements for heart attack victims does not pertain to me. I care not to increase my length or girth. I’m not interested in the Cartier watch replicas. I don’t wear much from Victoria’s Secret so you can keep the $1,000 holiday card (like that was going to pan out). I don’t want an unsecured loan.

…and to my “friends”, one more thing.

Thanks for the virus warning email with the mile of forwarded recipients. Had you spent 5 seconds to verify the content you would have realized it was bullshit, but I appreciate your concern and also for sending my email address to everyone in your address book.

Perhaps they would like some male enhancement information.